B(aby)arney S(itting)tinson
by howimetneilpatrickharris
Summary: Barney is left to look after baby Marvin. One shot.


**So I watched Bad Crazy and noticed that when the group are sitting in Marshall and Lily's apartment (just after the opening credits) Barney's trying to get Marvin to high five him. This gave me all sorts of ideas about the way Barney must act with babies, so this fic came out it. In this story, Barney is left to babysit Marvin overnight while Marshall and Lily go to a party.**

"I can't believe that Mickey cancelled on you guys last second." Ted mused, joining the rest of the group – latest, and smallest, addition included – at their regular booth.

"I don't know what we're gonna do about it now, it'll be impossible to find a babysitter this short notice and it's taken long enough for me to trust my Dad alone with him anyway." Lily said, frowning and bouncing the infant that sat on her lap.

"I think we're gonna have to call and tell them we can't make it, Lilypad." Marshall added, mirroring his wife's defeated facial expressions.

"I'd watch him for you if I didn't have a date tonight." Ted confessed, a sympathetic smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. Marshall and Lily looked hopefully to Barney and Robin.

"I have work in a couple of hours, sorry guys. But…" They nodded and looked to Barney, who sighed and rubbed his forehead.

"Come on, Barney you used to watch Eli for James all the time, he loves you to death. It'll only be for a few hours and then I'll be home." Robin coaxed.

"He's my nephew, he has to love me."

"Eli never wants to leave you, and Marvin's your nephew too, you idiot." Lily scolded. Barney chewed on his bottom lip for a couple of seconds before relenting to their puppy-dog eyes.

"Okay, fine, I'll watch him," He surrendered, arms and hands up as if to prove the point. "But only because Marvin's giving me puppy-dog eyes too." He laughed, which was reciprocated by the rest of the group.

"We'll bring him over just before we go." Marshall beamed.

Two hours later, Barney sat on the leather couch in his apartment, leg bouncing with nerves, with Robin having just left for work. _"I'll be home by eleven, okay?" _She'd told him before she left. There was something very different about watching Eli and watching Marvin, though he couldn't figure out why. When the knock on his apartment door finally came, he jumped up immediately and opened it, revealing two dressed up parents and a completely dressed down baby Marvin.

"You look awesome!" Barney flashed a toothy grin. "And you look tired." He pouted, shifting his attention to the tiny person in Lily's arms and brushing a finger against his rosy-red cheek. Lily smiled warmly and handed Marvin over to Barney, who naturally rested his head on the man's shirt-clad shoulder. Marshall placed Marvin's changing and overnight bag, blanket, and baby walker onto the floor next to Barney's sofa, while Lily explained what needed to happen.

"He needs feeding and then putting to bed but he might not sleep straight away because he's been a little restless recently. I can't guarantee that he'll sleep through the night, but he might do. There's diapers and food and a couple of changes of clothes a-and his stuffed animal a-"

"Breathe, Lilypad." Marshall soothed, rubbing his wife's back.

"It'll be fine, I'll call you if I need anything." Barney reassured them. They both nodded. Lily kissed Marvin's cheek and then Barney's, while Marshall rubbed Marvin's back while hugging Barney.

"Bye, baby!" Lily said, smiling at Marvin as she made her way out.

"Say bye-bye mama," Barney whispered to Marvin, bouncing him on his hip. "Bye, guys." He laughed, before closing the door. Barney sat down on the sofa, moving Marvin down to his lap. Marvin, in response, yawned and leaned back against the man's stomach.

"I know you're tired, kiddo, but you gotta eat something for me, okay?" He spoke, but promptly realised that Marvin didn't understand a word he was saying. He placed Marvin into his baby walker and opened up the bag Marshall had placed on the floor, taking out a plastic Star Wars bowl. He laughed to himself, knowing that Marshall had definitely picked it. He then removed a tub of pureed… something and a small plastic spoon before emptying the contents of the tub into the bowl. Marvin whined and started to cry. Barney pulled his baby walker closer to him until it was between his legs.

"That's what I think of it too." Barney laughed, dipping the spoon into the paste before offering some of it to Marvin.

Twenty minutes later, Marvin had only accepted four mouthfuls of his food.

"Come onnnn. One more. One! Just one." Barney bargained. "Would it help if I ate some? Hmm?" He made the mistake of actually putting the food in his mouth. "Jesus Christ… Okay I had some now you have to." Barney opened his mouth in attempt to get Marvin to copy him. Fortunately, it worked and Marvin finally finished his food. As Barney got up to wash up the bowl and spoon, Marvin started crying once more. Barney sighed and placed the bowl down on the counter top before returning to his tiny companion. He rolled his sleeves up before lifting Marvin's bib from around his neck to wipe his mouth – feeding an infant that won't stay still is not a simple (or clean) task. He pulled the bib off and then took Marvin out of his baby walker, placing him back on his hip. It was only then that he stopped crying. Barney laughed. Maybe Marvin wasn't so different to Eli after all. Marvin giggled and Barney couldn't help but smile at him. He pressed a kiss to his forehead as another yawn escaped the sleepy baby.

"I think it's time for you to go to bed, little guy." Marvin responded only by kicking his legs. Barney laughed and grabbed the blanket and stuffed toy that Lily mentioned earlier, and then carried Marvin to the bedroom. At least until Robin came home, Marvin could sleep in the bed. Barney dropped the blanket and toy onto the bed before gently laying Marvin down, head resting between two pillows. Marvin's instant response was to scream at the top of his lungs. Barney grimaced and gently shushed him, sitting down on the bed next to him and stroking his hair. That did little to reassure him as he pushed his arms towards him.  
"I gotta take a shower, buddy…" Barney told him softly, draping the fluffy white blanket over him. This did little to impress him either, and was promptly kicked off again. Barney gave in and cradled the infant, bouncing him as he paced the bedroom, until he drifted off in his arms. Barney smiled to himself, gently laying Marvin on the bed.

"Now, you stay sleeping for fifteen minutes and I promise I'll stay with you all night." Barney said, more to himself than to Marvin, before going to his bathroom to take the quickest shower he'd ever taken. He put on a grey t-shirt and black sweats, being completely aware of the possibility of Marvin puking on him, and then made his way back to bedroom, closing the door – slightly too heavily- behind him. Marvin's eyes snapped open. Barney shook his head at his own idiocy as Marvin made tiny grabby hands at him. Barney laughed and sat back down on the bed, resting a hand on Marvin's stomach. Marvin responded by wrapping his hands around Barney's fingers.

Another hour had passed and Marvin still wouldn't go back to sleep. He was far more interested in throwing his stuffed animal repeatedly across the bed and laughing, as Barney would have to stretch to bring it back to him. Barney yawned, wiping the back of his hands over his eyes.

"Dude, if I'm tired, you have to be." He mumbled. Marvin just giggled and kicked his legs. Barney rolled his eyes and glanced over at the clock. 9:30 and this 5 month old was wide-awake. Barney picked up Marvin, not chancing leaving him on his own again, and took him out to the front room. He rifled through the bag until he found what he had hoped would be in there – a bottle. He smiled and placed the bottle into the microwave, resting Marvin on the counter top and letting him lean his head on his torso. Barney brought his hand up to stroke the back of the baby's head, smiling as he did so. The microwave emitted a high-pitched whine and the bottle was promptly removed from it, and Marvin was placed back onto Barney's hip.

"Okay. No more Mr. Nice Guy. Bed time for real, and for me, because you're giving me a headache." He muttered, shutting out all the lights behind him as he made his way back to the bedroom. He stacked up a few pillows against the headboard and then climbed onto the bed, placing Marvin between his legs and draping the blanket over him once more. He contemplated turning on the TV wall, but realised that blinding a child wasn't the best way to prove you could look after one properly. He instead just placed the teat of the bottle into Marvin's mouth and supported the bottom while Marvin clasped it tightly.

Barney yawned once more as he waited for Marvin to drain the bottle. When he finally did, he was almost asleep. Barney placed the bottle on the nightstand and slid down on the bed, pulling Marvin up and laying him down on his chest.

"Now go to sleep." He instructed, rubbing Marvin's back and waiting for his eyes to slip shut before letting his own doing the same.

When Robin finally made it home, she was greeted by the most adorable thing she'd ever seen. Her husband-to-be was completely knocked out, stuffed animal in hand, with Marvin in much the same state, sprawled across his chest. She felt a sudden pang of guilt upon realizing she'd never be able to give that to Barney, but pushed the thought to the back of her mind as she draped Marvin's blanket over the pair. She changed into a pair of pajamas and then climbed under the covers, before kissing Barney's cheek and gently ruffling his messy hair.

As morning rolled around, Robin woke up long before Barney (and Marvin) and it was therefore left up to her to greet Lily as she knocked on the door of the apartment.

"Hey!" She beamed. "How was the party?"

"Amazing!" Lily replied honestly. "I missed my baby though. Where is he?" She frowned.  
"He and Barney are completely knocked out in the bedroom, I'll go and get him for you." She laughed, making her way to the bedroom. She gently took Marvin from Barney's chest, blanket in tow, and pried the stuffed animal from her sleeping fiancé's hand. His eyes cracked open as she did so.

"Lily's here to get Marvin, sorry, Barn." She said sincerely. He rubbed his eyes and yawned.

"What time is it?"

"10am, go back to sleep. You earned it." She smiled, planting a delicate kiss on his forehead. He smiled sleepily and pulled his own blanket over his chest. On her way out she admired his sleeping figure. Jesus Christ, she was so happy to have him back.


End file.
